Introduction: When Someone Else’s Good News Lands Somewhere Complicated A friend gets the promotion. Someone achieves what they had been working toward. A post appears on a screen showing someone’s happiness. *Good for them,* the thought begins. And…
Introduction: Why “Just Accept It” Doesn’t Work Noticing the change in the mirror. Movement that is slower than it used to be. Memory with a different texture than before. *I should accept this.* And yet the acceptance doesn’t…
Introduction: Why “It’s Just the Internet” Doesn’t Work A message left on read. A critical comment. A number that went down. A post that landed in silence. *I shouldn’t let this affect me this much.* And yet it…
Introduction: The Criticism Arrives Before the Looking Is Done Standing in front of a mirror. Catching a photograph. A glance down at a hand, a stomach, a face. What arrives is not observation. It is judgment. *Too much.…
Introduction: Caring Continuously and Losing Yourself Are Not the Same Thing Keeping going for someone who matters. Still moving even when exhausted, because right now they come first. That dedication is real. But care coming from a depleted…
Introduction: The Standard Was Never the Problem After a mistake, the replay begins. *That decision was wrong. I could have done more. Why didn’t I handle it differently.* Holding high standards is not the problem. The problem is…
Introduction: Criticizing Yourself for Still Being in It After losing someone, or something that mattered — the grief doesn’t go away. It returns in unexpected moments. *I should be past this by now. Why didn’t I do more when…
Introduction: Why “Be Stronger” Makes It Worse After a failure, we are hurt twice. The first time by the failure itself. The second time by the voice that asks why it happened, what it says about us, whether it will…
Introduction: This Is Not a Willpower Problem Lying in bed, the thinking won’t stop. Today’s failure. Tomorrow’s uncertainty. What should have been said. What shouldn’t have been said. Deciding to stop thinking doesn’t stop the thinking. This is not a…
Introduction: “It Doesn’t Feel Right” Is Where to Begin May I be happy. Something about it feels distant. A faint awkwardness. The words and the self on the receiving end of them separated by a thin layer of something. This…
Introduction: Not Knowing What to Say to That Person A moment from the past returns without warning. A failure. A loss. The particular loneliness of a place you once were. You tell yourself it’s over. The emotion disagrees. When you…
Introduction: Being Alone and Feeling Lonely Are Two Different Experiences A quiet room on a weekend afternoon. An evening with nothing scheduled. The same situation can feel like spacious stillness on one occasion and like uncomfortable emptiness on another. The…
Introduction: Functioning and Not Depleted Are Two Different Things The day is finished, and something is heavy. Things were accomplished, but what’s present is fatigue rather than satisfaction. Or there is no clear sense of being tired at all —…
Introduction: You Can’t Stop the Comparison. You Can Change Where It Lands Someone’s post appears on the screen, and something shifts — a subtle contraction, a sense of being slightly less than a moment ago. A colleague’s performance is mentioned…
Introduction: What the Brain Does the Moment Something Goes Wrong An important presentation, and the words stop coming. A careless mistake, noticed too late. Something said that shouldn’t have been. And then, immediately, the voice: again. why can’t you just…
Introduction: The Walls Are Not Personal. They Are Structural Maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Maybe none of this is actually working. Most people who begin a meditation practice encounter some version of these thoughts at…
Introduction: The “Oh” Moment Is the Practice You were meditating, and somewhere along the way you were just thinking. You got frustrated, and by the time you noticed, your tone had already changed. You sat down to eat, and somehow…
Introduction: Why Is Doing Nothing So Hard? Sit down. Don’t check the phone. Don’t organize your thoughts. Don’t try to relax. Don’t try to do this practice correctly. Just sit. This turns out to be surprisingly difficult. Within seconds, something…
Introduction: “I’m Exhausted” Is Your Body Trying to Tell You Something Mid-afternoon at your desk. The thought arrives: I’m so tired. And almost immediately, a second thought follows: I shouldn’t be. I need to push through. We treat fatigue as…